Category Archives: Memoir

Roads

After failed attempts in three successive years, Tom and I recently completed one more road trip to the western United States. While not the year-long or months-long trips of years past, it was (you may say) satisfactory. We drove 6,184 miles through 15 states. For a good part of the trip west, we tried to travel on U.S. Route 50. On the way back home, once we got through Colorado, we mostly followed U.S. Route 30 east.

early morning, Iowa farm country

early morning, Iowa farm country

We heard birds everywhere we traveled: a Baltimore oriole cheeped in the tree above our campsite at North Bend State Park in West Virginia; dicksissels and Eastern meadowlarks sang in the TallGrass Prairie National Preserve in Kansas; and we saw, heard, and acknowledged the ravens at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.  At the Gates of Lodore campground in Dinosaur National Monument, Tom and I camped next to a busy family of black-billed magpies, where, for hours at a time, the parents took turns quickly gathering food and returning to the nest to feed their clamoring babies. I had never seen before this intense behavior so near at hand. I feel lucky to have seen it  On our month-long trip we heard and saw warblers, vireos, woodpeckers, sparrows, nuthatches, tanagers, cardinals, owls, Canada geese, wrens, and many more species. Through the weeks and miles–in the woods, prairies, canyons, and mountains–I often would hear a particularly sweet clear song. It was always familiar, but I would check my Merlin app to be sure. It was always an American robin. I love them and thank them for their companionship on this trip and in my life.

On this trip Tom and I made an effort to see not just our favorite places, but also some places we have longed to see. We sought out gardens, arboretums, forests, preserves, parks, and monuments. Some places–like Browns Park in northeastern Colorado–I had been reading about for decades. Other places–like Purdue’s Gabis Arboretum in northwestern Indiana–we searched out as we traveled. Below are photos of some of the places we visited.

cream violet, North Bend State Park, West Virginia

Muscatatuck National Wildlife Refuge, Indiana

southeastern Colorado

Bandelier National Monument, New Mexico

roundleaf buffaloberry, Cape Royal, North Rim, Arizona

Gates of Lodore, Dinosaur National Monument, Colorado

Browns Park National Wildlife Refuge, Colorado

Poudre River Canyon, Colorado

Poudre River Canyon, Colorado

evening, Prairie Rose State Park, Iowa

bur oak, Gabis Arboretum, Indiana

Tom and I were going on a road trip, so we were also planning on finding some tasty road food along the way. In fact, before our departure, Tom had been studying The Great American Burger Book to find iconic burgers in the states we would travel through. As it turned out, we only tried two regional favorites from the book: a GOM Sandwich at Zaharakos Ice Cream Parlor and Museum in Columbus, Indiana and a bierock at Runza, a chain restaurant in North Platte, Nebraska. I found the GOM sandwich pretty good and the root beer float I drank with it delicious. The fast food bierock tasted like nondescript fast food, but the staff members were friendly. If I travel through Nebraska again, I would like to try a slow cooked version of a bierock.

We did come across a handful of good restaurant meals on the road, though. Pepperoni rolls are a thing in West Virginia and we had great ones–for lunch and dinner!–from Tomaro’s Bakery in Clarksburg. If you like good bread and flavorful artery-hardening Italian meat and if you are nearby, it’s worth a drive to the old Clarksburg downtown to try these rolls. It’s a long way from almost anywhere to the generic strip mall in Minooka Illinois, that houses the Dragon Inn. We ate the best dumplings we ever had and the other dishes we had (which escape me already) were also delicious. I wish I had taken more photos, but we were busy eating.

On this trip Tom and I stayed in hotels much more than we camped. Still, one of my favorite meals was our standard  camp meal of cheese sandwich, hummus, carrots, and chips.

The Great American Burger Book

pepperoni roll from Tomaro’s Bakery, Clarksburg, West Virginia

bierock, North Platte, Nebraska

dumplings, Dragon Inn, Minooka, Illinois

camp meal and game, Bandelier National Monument

The Other Road We Travel Yesterday was Tom and my 50th wedding anniversary.* As it does happen in this life, we started out young and now we are old.  When we were young at the North Rim and a few years later in Salt Lake City, we flew  with our friends like a flock of freewheeling birds above our uncertainties, our problems, our pains, and our setbacks.  This year, Tom and I needed to get back to the the rim and Salt Lake City (and the Front Range of Colorado) one more time (at least) to where we began together and to see others of our flock.

This was the primary impetus that got us on the road. We feel fine, or fine enough for a couple of old coots, but we don’t know how long that will last. I don’t know the exact words to describe the sweetness and comfort I felt–even in this uncertain, uncivilized, and fraught era–in seeing our friends again. Laura, Art, Howard, and Mark in Salt Lake; Sally in Colorado; and Richard when we were back home in Virginia. I remember with love all our friends from those days–the ones we recently saw and the ones we didn’t.  And, I just now recalled a line from Bob Dylan that gets me closer to what I mean to say: then and now, you give us shelter from the storm.

ravens over the Grand Canyon

ravens over the Grand Canyon

North Rim, 2018


* Because it was our actual anniversary and the Summer Solstice, I hoped to finish this article yesterday. My excuses for others:  It was hot and we went out to dinner. My excuse for myself: I was in an extended period of procrastination.

Spring Ephemera

Last Friday, on a tramp looking for invasive incised fumewort, I spied my first mayapples of the season.

The previous Sunday, on Theodore Roosevelt Island, I saw three spring ephemerals: common blue violets, cut-leaf toothwort, and–one of my favorites–spring beauty.

common blue violet (Viola sororia)

cutleaf toothwort (Cardamine concatenata)

spring beauty (Claytonia virginica)

On the island, people were walking, jogging, volunteering with the National Park Service (clearing out invasive plants and other activities in aid of the island’s health), birding, and other spring pursuits. Speaking of birding, on the upper trail in the middle of the island, one young woman shared her exciting find with me: a baby barred owl. I think maybe I finally saw the baby bird; I hope I did; I imagine I did.*

Just because I was having a hard time seeing them, does not mean that the owls and other birds were not in full springtime mode.  Throughout my walk around the island, the Carolina wrens were making an exuberant racket. Using my own limited knowledge and with the help of the Merlin app, I heard 16 species of birds:

  • Carolina wren
  • mourning dove
  • Northern cardinal
  • song sparrow
  • tufted titmouse
  • downy woodpecker
  • American crow
  • red-winged blackbird
  • swamp sparrow
  • American robin
  • common grackle
  • Canada goose
  • white-throated sparrow
  • cedar waxwing
  • Carolina chickadee
  • ruby-crowned kinglet

Speaking of birds: so far this spring at least four species of birds have visited our balcony: mourning doves, blue jays, sparrows, and one American crow. I think the mourning doves started visiting in February. Alone or with a partner, the doves walk along the railing planters and investigate the other pots scattered around. I think they do this with an eye to starting a family. They do seem to feel at home here, as I have observed them mating the last couple of years. As a result, each of the last two years a single egg has been laid in a pot and then abandoned by the doves. I am not sure why this happens  (mourning doves are not noted as particularly conscientious nesters), but I think if they did they would be sitting ducks for more aggressive birds.

Blue jays visit occasionally throughout the year and have been here several times recently.  The jays seem to like to keep a lookout on our space.  They sometimes plant the peanuts that they find somewhere, and generally mess up the dirt in our pots.  I love jays for their raucous, bold, blue, and beautiful ways–hold the presses!  Two minutes ago a blue jay came swooping in to inspect the coral bells that Tom planted in his planters twenty minutes ago.  They have their eyes on us.

Although they are very common in our urban neighborhood, this is the first year I remember sparrows flying up to our balcony.  These little visitors flit around so quickly, I am not sure what species they are. They may be invasive house sparrows, but I am not sure. Today, I put the binoculars in the living room so I can look closely next time before the sparrows fly away.

Three days ago an American crow flew onto the balcony railing. He or she peremptorily picked at the planter where I recently planted black-seeded Simpson lettuce and where mourning doves recently walked and blue jays recently snooped. Then the crow swooped right next to one (of two) black painted wooden crows we’ve had in every garden, since the 1990s, The crows seem to have their eyes on us, too, and–somehow–that comforts me.

American crow and wooden crow from Glen Arbor, MI with Virginia switchgrass

The Blues At several places on that most recent walk on T.R. Island, I encountered little blue butterflies. These “blues,” as they are called, are some of my favorite butterflies. I never  manage to get photos of them–they are so quick and erratic. When we meet, it’s  a flash of blue and an intense feeling of movement and light. In 2014 Tom and I were hiking on an upland forest trail in Great Basin National Park when we came upon hundreds of blues dancing in the bright dappled sun.  I think I took a photo, but, if I caught anything, it was moving sunlight.

These walks in dappled sun, these glimpses of spring beauties, these baby owls, these flashing wings of blue, help me keep the other blues at bay.


*I have been watching birds all my life and I have tried, fitfully, to be a birder for over 50 years, but I am still a novice. I have spotted many wonderful birds (e.g., vermilion flycatcher, American condor, cactus wren, etc.), but I have missed many more.

January 6, 2024

Happy New Year!

Good News Today, I took down the Christmas tree. Tom took the tree downstairs to the tree recycling dumpster.  I gathered up all the holiday paraphernalia into its big blue plastic bin and stowed it in our shed. Years ago, my parents would put up the tree only a few days before Christmas, but then keep it up until January 6. I think I keep to the January 6 routine because it gives me an opportunity to think about my mom and dad–a good idea on this cold, gray, and rainy afternoon. On this Epiphany, I am also enjoying thinking about Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night or What You Will, which is one of my favorite plays. Right now, I can just about laugh aloud thinking about Malvolio’s yellow cross-gartered stockings.

Twelfth Night

Yesterday, I planted a little pot of dill, some native southern sundrops (Oenotera fruticosa) and common golden alexanders (Zizia aurea). Good gardener that I am, I have a so-so record on successfully starting tiny seeds in winter. I keep planting as an act of faith that spring will come.

seeds of southern sundrops and dill

On Monday evening, my alma mater, the University of Michigan, will play in the football national championship (January 8, 2024). I hope my team wins, but I plan on enjoying the game whether we prevail or not.

my Michigan shirt

Other News Today, I remember the insurrection of January 6, 2021. I don’t remember this as  just a news item. I remember this as a personal assault. I may live across the Potomac River from D.C., but, still, this was an attack on my city, my government, and my beloved country. Three years ago my (formerly) robust political and social idealism sustained a wound that has not yet fully healed. Enough of that for now.  What am I–at 74 years old–to do this year? I will vote, I will sign petitions, I will write, and I will support those who would protect our civil society, our Constitution, and justice for all people. Also, I will continue to understand that if someone tells me that the sky is green and the grass is blue, reality will let me know that the sky remains blue and the grass green.  I wish you all a good year.

black walnut, Ft. C.F. Smith, Arlington, Virginia (where the sky is blue and the grass is green)

 

 

 

 

 

Autumn 2023

In early October, I worked on an article about the current rash of book banning.  My plan was to finish the post in time to publish it for Banned Books Week (October 1-7, 2023). It turns out that I had too much to think and write about books (and schools and libraries) to complete an article by my self-imposed deadline. I am still planning to complete that article, but I need to ruminate a bit more before I finish. Also, in September, I picked up a case of Covid-19 on our trip to Michigan. A few weeks later, I either relapsed or picked up a crazy bad cold/flu.  I can report that I feel fine now and I am back to seeing family and friends, cranking out high intensity intervals at the gym, and transplanting seedlings at the Arlington County native plant nursery.  Below are some words and recent photos from Michigan,  the Washington, D.C. area, and my walk last week on Theodore Roosevelt Island.

Michigan

Tom and I try to travel to Michigan at least once a year.  We enjoy visiting family and the places we love. Each year, we also try to see some places we haven’t been yet.  At one of our favorite places–Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore–we hiked in a new area: Pyramid Point. There, the vistas, woods, meadows, flowers, and bugs, were just as beautiful as we have come to expect in this park. After Sleeping Bear, we headed east to Lake Huron. I went to YWCA camp on Lake Huron as a teenager. Tom and I and our children camped decades ago on the Canadian side of Huron. However, it was time to visit Tawas, a place I had heard of all  my life.  Tawas Point State Park, was yet another pretty and friendly Michigan park where one routinely shoots the breeze with strangers and shares a bit of early morning bird-watching.

For the first time in my life, I camped at Proud Lake Recreation Area. This is notable because the the campground is 3.7 miles by car (it would be considerably less as the crow flies) from my childhood home. The trees, fields, water, and the air itself seemed familiar and comfortable at Proud Lake.  I must say, also, that I have not been bitten by so many mosquitos, since I left my lake home.  The price we Michiganders pay for all that water!

There is beauty wherever Tom and I  live or travel, but I always count myself lucky when I can get a dose of the pleasant peninsulas.

Empire Bluffs Trail, Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore

Pyramid Point Trail, Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore

meadow trail near Pyramid Point

pure green sweat bee near Pyramid Point

silky dogwood, Tawas Point State Park

Tawas Point Lighthouse, Tawas Point State Park

swamp aster, Proud Lake Recreation Area, Commerce Charter Township

Washington, D.C. Area

Reading the newspapers or watching the news, I think a person might possibly get a skewed idea about the Washington, D.C. area. I am not saying that the news is necessarily wrong, just that it isn’t a comprehensive view. Yes, I’ve seen the fences around the Supreme Court, Congress, and the White House. I was under curfew on January 6, 2021.  Tom saw military gunboats in the Potomac River before the last inauguration. I saw the Pentagon burning in the days after 9/11. And on and on, but…I have attended an uncountable number of wonderful concerts, festivals, fireworks, and protests. I have visited monuments, memorials, cemeteries, libraries, and parks.  Then there are the museums–still a marvel to me after all these years.  I don’t forget the gardens. Tom and I walk through the gardens–spring, summer, fall, winter–through the decades. I like all the big things like the monuments and memorials, but the gardens help keep me close to the ground.

bee on tropical milkweed, U.S. Botanic Garden

buttonbush, Quincy Park, Arlington, Virginia

milkweed bugs, Bartholdi Park, Washington, D.C.

maple tree, Quincy Park, Arlington, Virginia

Theodore Roosevelt Island, November 16, 2023

Last Thursday was a lovely day on the island. It is curious to me how this little, overused island–with the jets flying overhead, the Kennedy Center peeking through the trees, and its often filthy bathroom–makes my feet happy and my soul calm(er). On Thursday, I heard many birds and saw a few. I heard  one or more Carolina wren, white-throated sparrow, northern flicker, robin, song sparrow, swamp sparrow,  yellow-rumped warbler, belted kingfisher, and mallard.

from the walking bridge

lower path

upper path

hickory nut and leaves

mallard

Thanksgiving

In my family we have taken to having potluck meals on Thanksgiving: bring what you want and you don’t have to tell anyone what you are bringing.  We started this during darkest Covid times.  We would meet outside on a picnic table at Walter Reed Park in Arlington. I was thankful that so many of my loved ones were alive and that we could share food together (alas, Robert and Rebekah were in far distant Pittsburgh). The food, while always delicious, was not the main dish. Seeing dear ones in person was better than all the turkey, dressing, and pecan pie I have ever eaten.

Even with the continuing problems of our country and the world (sometimes it seems like things are getting ever worse), I am grateful, for my family, friends, and this still beautiful world.  Happy Thanksgiving.

 

Summer 2023

I’ve been thinking about J. Alfred Prufrock  (“The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” T.S. Eliot, 1915) this morning.* Specifically, I was thinking of the line, “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” Tom and I have had a generally good summer so far, but I do measure it out (at least partly) in coffee spoons. Summer around Washington, D.C. tends to enervate us, so we add a spoonful or so of instant coffee to our 11:00 a.m. iced coffee, made from our left-over morning brewed coffee. Every summer, I tell myself that I won’t amp up my coffee intake, but every year I do so. In the scheme of things, this is not too important. In fact, this summer coffee habit prepares us for the cold instant coffee regimen we adopt for our fall camping trips.

summer coffee

This Summer (so far)

Tom and I volunteer at Arlington County’s native plant nursery. We like to plant, transplant, and weed. Working with the native plants and like-minded staff and volunteers, we feel like we are, in a small and pleasant (to us) way, helping our community and the world. So far this summer, Tom and I have helped move native blue flag, pickerelweed, and spadderdock from Sparrow Pond to Lucky Run, both in Arlington. We also helped extract blue-eyed grass seeds from pods for winter planting, transplanted roundleaf thoroughwort and tick trefoil into larger pots, and weeded the nursery beds.

Pontederia cordata (pickerelweed)

pickerel weed

Susie (a beagle), Connor (a pug/peke), and Phoenix (an orange-winged Amazon) vacationed at our condo. Susie and Connor kept us hopping on our aging toes for the ten days they visited. However, by the time they left, Tom and I loved them to the depths of their little doggie souls. We’ve known and loved Phoenix for his entire 28 years of life. Our ten days with Phoenix settled into a familiar and comfortable–if messy–routine. We shared breakfasts of peanut butter toast and banana and Phoenix harmonized when Tom played Mozart. A good time, I believe, was had by animals and humans alike.

Susie and Connor ready for a walk

Phoenix in the morning sun

As usual, Tom and I watched the 4th of July Parade on Constitution Avenue in Washington, D.C. We stood near the National Archives as we do each year.  As usual, I cheered, clapped, and cried.  This year I stood in the midday sun a bit too long. I should have taken shade breaks under the big American elm like Tom did. When I finally took to the shade, I misplaced my phone. Instead of life as I knew it ending, a kind citizen found the phone and gave it to Sgt. Ibrahim of the Metropolitan Police Department, who saved it for me. I have a lifelong love of  parades and I intend to write a blog about them, but, for now, here are some photos from this year’s event.

marching band

remembering Ukraine

Vietnamese marchers

conductor, 4th of July Parade, Washington, D.C.

words

words

Like much of the country and the world, the Washington, D.C. area has experienced excessive heat and bad air this summer.  Trying not to be old fools, Tom and I avoid staying outside much during Code Red or Code Orange days. We still make our rounds of local museums and gardens, though. We’ve had rain along with the heat, so beauty still abounds in this burning summer.

Bartholdi Park

Bartholdi Fountain, clouds, Capitol, and cannas

coneflowers and others, Mary Livingston Ripley Garden

St. John's wort and bee

St. John’s wort and bee

In a post late this winter, I vowed to make potato salad and have a picnic in the spring. Spring passed and I didn’t make the potato salad or go on a picnic. Things happen (or don’t happen). A few weeks ago, though, I took potato salad to a party with some old friends and colleagues, most of whom I hadn’t seen in many years.  My potato salad worked out well because I used good potatoes, lots of cumin, and sweet and spicy  jarred jalapenos. I had been somewhat anxious about seeing people who had once been close workmates at a job I left 23 years ago. Our work had been important. We taught English, civics, and workplace skills to adult immigrants and refugees. We had felt honored to serve these people. Those years at the Arlington Education & Employment Program (REEP) had been exhilarating and exhausting, but rewarding. There had been something elemental about working so hard alongside friends to assist our students, many whom had faced war, torture, famine, and economic calamity.  I needn’t to have been anxious about attending the party. I found myself again within a caring circle, just as in decades past.

my students and I, REEP, circa early 1990s

Tom and I spent two days at the Smithsonian Folklife Festival this summer. We particularly enjoyed a variety of music including gospel, old-time Ozark, and Ukrainian choral. What mostly stays in my mind, though, is a sign and some ribbons.

Remembrance, Smithsonian Folklife Festival 2023

ribbons, Smithsonian Folklife Festival, July 2023

Things happen beyond the planting and transplanting of flowers, the walking of dogs, the marchers marching in the parade, the making and sharing of potato salad, and the hearing of music. Friends die and friends of friends die, even in summer. I tied a white ribbon here and a few days later another loved one left us. I don’t think I am too sad. I do believe like the sign says, “grief and loss are parts of life we all share.”

One more month of summer. I plan on having a picnic, making pickles, and canning peaches–if I can find some good ones for a good price. I will watch the morning sun come up as it does every day, and I will remember.

sunrise  from our balcony, July 30, 2023


*It’s not just the coffee spoons that resonate with me. In graduate school, I wrote a paper analyzing “Prufrock.”  I have loved the words of this poem for 50 years, but I understand them more as I grow older (but still eat peaches).

Old Growth

I take lots of photographs of trees. I often take similar photos: I look straight up to the sky searching for the circling branches. I also take photos of leaves, pine needles, acorns, nuts, and twigs. I mostly haven’t been satisfied with my photos of trunks, but I keep trying. I’ve had a close relationship with trees my entire life and, if anything, I feel closer to them as I grow older.

Meadowlark Botanical Gardens, Fairfax County, Virginia

First Trees I started climbing trees when I was very young at our home in Detroit. The tree–I think my dad called it a silver maple–was also quite young and I was able to shinny up it and climb pretty far up the branches. I remember being proud of my skill because I was the youngest and the girl. My parents also planted a little cherry tree of some kind in the backyard. I remember swiping a maraschino cherry from the jar in the refrigerator and sticking it on a little twig and announcing that the tree had produced a cherry!  I didn’t fool anyone.* The street trees in our Rosedale Park neighborhood were elms. The trees from each side of the street met in the middle and made a comforting leaf canopy.  Back in the 1950s Christmastime was still reliably cold in Detroit. One night I walked around the block with my dad looking at the Christmas lights.  There was a blue spruce glowing with lights. I must have known it was a blue spruce because my dad told me its name. The magic was so strong that I feel it now, 66 years later.  That mix of the cold air, the holiday lights, the blue tree, and my kind father keep me–even through many long and sometimes trying years–looking up at the trees and sky.

A few years later, my family moved to a lake near Milford, Michigan. When we first moved to our house, trilliums still bloomed nearby in the springtime and we saw deer tracks on the beach. My parents made sure that the builders did not cut down any extra trees when they built our house, so our new world was guarded by a grove of tall oaks and hickories along with the odd little sassafras and wild cherry.  In most of the lawn, the grass grew a little bit thin, but the trees were almost like benevolent gods to my young nature-loving self.  When I miss my home, which is often for a place that I haven’t lived in since 1972, I sometimes miss the trees as much as the people who lived there.**

brother George’s photo of winter dawn with lake and trees from our house

*These early memories  are slightly fuzzy; I might not have been the only one involved in the maraschino gambit.

**(Some of these words are adapted from Losing It: Deconstructing a Life, unpublished work © Lynda Terrill, all rights reserved)


More Trees Through the years, I have been lucky to encounter many trees.  I’ve walked through Michigan woods, Appalachian and Piedmont forests, the grand ponderosa pine forests of the Kaibab Plateau, the bristlecone pines of Great Basin National Park, the redwood and sequoia cathedrals of California, and so many more tree lands. Not every forest or tree needed to be grand for me to love it.  I fondly remember the single small tree on a minuscule pull-out on U.S. Route 89A–then, the only tree to be found on the Arizona Strip between Fredonia, Arizona and the Kaibab Plateau. I can’t remember the species of that tree; it might have been a pinyon pine.

I only started taking photographs (first on little Nikons, now just on phones) about 13 years ago. Nonetheless, I find that I have hundreds of tree-related photos. Below are some of my current favorites.

Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lake Shore, Michigan

redbuds, Sky Meadows State Park, Virginia

Eastern hemlocks, Cathedral State Park, West Virginia

autumn, Arlington, Virginia

Mathews Arm Campground, Shenandoah National Park, Virginia

sycamore, Theodore Roosevelt Island, Washington, D.C.

cherry blossoms, Tidal Basin, Washington, D.C.

Red Canyon, Dixie National Forest, Utah

Widforss Trail, North Rim, Grand Canyon, Arizona

November: Frick Park, Pittsburgh

Frick Park, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Great Basin National Park, Nevada

Beach Road, Meher Spiritual Center, Myrtle Beach, SC

Beach Road, Meher Spiritual Center, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Sequoia feet

Sequoia & Kings Canyon National Park, California

North Rim, Grand Canyon National Park, Arizona

red mangrove, Florida

G. Richard Thompson Wildlife Management Area, Markham, Virginia

black walnut, Ft. C.F. Smith, Arlington, Virginia

Enough photos for now, I think.

Old Growth, Part 1 In March 2020, Tom and I heard environmentalist Joan Maloof speak about old-growth forests. Maloof, “Professor Emeritus at Salisbury University, founded the Old-Growth Forest Network to preserve, protect and promote the country’s few remaining stands of old-growth forest. (www.joanmaloof.com/).” Since hearing Maloof’s presentation, Tom and I have been visiting more of these special forests, most recently last month when we walked in the Youghiogheny Grove Natural Area in Swallow Falls State Park, Maryland. I was going to make a bulleted list of the old forests we’ve hiked in, but I realized I don’t really know how many we have encountered. I don’t want to sound like a gaga old woman, but I have two ideas to share. First: not only do forests provide the earth with oxygen, food, shelter, fuel, etc., but they provide me with a sense of wonder and contentment that I don’t often feel elsewhere.  Second, while I am a proponent of  preserving all the old-growth forests that are left, I also want to acknowledge that a tree, a grove, a forest, doesn’t need a special designation to be awe-inspiring.  I do encourage tree lovers to investigate the Old Growth Network and I still want to list a few of Tom’s and my favorite forests below:

  • Kaibab National Forest, Arizona
  • Great Basin National Park, Nevada
  • Porcupine Mountains Wilderness State Park, Michigan
  • Cascade Falls, Ottawa National Forest, Michigan
  • Congaree National Park, South Carolina
  • Red Canyon, Dixie National Forest, Utah
  • Fishlake National Forest (including Pando and Singletree Campground), Utah
  • Cathedral Forest, Cook State Forest, Pennsylvania
  • Mariposa Grove of Giant Sequoias, Yosemite National Park, California
  • The Giant Forest, Sequoia  & Kings Canyon National Parks, California

Old-Growth Forest Network sign, Swallow Falls State Park

Youghiogheny Grove Natural Area, Swallow Falls State Park, Maryland

Old Growth, Part 2 I realize that I think, talk, and write quite a bit about trees. I might even repeat myself sometimes. Part of that may be because I am old and prone to reverie, but mostly it is because trees (and birds, bugs, plants, and rocks) help me focus on beauty amid the terrible news that surrounds me almost daily. Side note: I once had an employer who gave me job–at least in part–because, she said, I was a life-long learner. Maybe I am. Now, though, I just want to grow like a tree–like a tulip poplar in flower or just hang on like a pinyon pine on a canyon rim.

tulip poplar flower, Arlington, Virginia

pinyon pine, Colorado National Monument, Colorado

Salad Days, Salad Years: Reverie

Right now, my weather app claims that it is 29 degrees* here this afternoon in Arlington, Virginia. So far this winter we’ve had some cold spells, some cold rains, but only a couple of snow flurries. Still, it is winter enough to keep me inside today in reverie.

I’m old now and I do spend some time thinking about times long past. Shakespeare gives us the phrase “salad days” (Antony and Cleopatra, Act I, Scene 5). For me, though, the phrase is literal: I am thinking about the salads I’ve made and the salad ingredients I’ve grown.

Early salads Sometime in my early teens, I started making salads for the family dinners. This was an easy task, but I felt proud to do it. If you are from the Midwest of my childhood (or perhaps from another time or place, also), you may know this salad. I tore up iceberg lettuce, cut up tomatoes, and–if we had them–also put in cucumbers and scallions. I made the thousand island salad dressing by mixing Hellman’s mayonnaise and ketchup to which I might add a little pickle relish and/or chopped hard-boiled egg to make the islands. I think we all liked the salad well enough and it paired well with the meatloaf or pork chops or pot roast meals we often ate.

Around this same era, my mom taught me to make her potato salad. She was a careful cook and I can see her now–telling me how one needs to boil the potatoes with their “jackets” on, and then showing me how to cut them and the other vegetables in precise pieces before mixing in the few seasonings and dressing. I have been thinking about this potato salad for a couple of years now. I keep thinking I want to make a batch, even though our lives left the cold chicken and potato salad era decades ago. Tom and I both remember picnics up Mill Creek Canyon near Salt Lake City with our very young children and our friends-maybe cold chicken with potato salad in the summer and roasted hot dogs over a fire and potato salad when September came. The last time I made potato salad regularly was in the early 1990s in Washington, D.C. when I taught adult learners from the Food and Beverage Workers Union, Local 32. Most of the classes were on Saturdays and the students and I decided to have potluck lunches. Some students brought D.C. half-smokes, some brought macaroni and cheese, other brought chips, drinks, and other tasty foods. I brought the potato salad. I added more onion, cumin seed, and liquid from jarred jalapenos to my mom’s recipe and it was a hit. Watch for updates: When spring comes for real, I am going to make a batch of potato salad and go on a picnic with Tom and whomever else wants to come. I just can’t decide whether to bring the cold fried chicken or grill the hot dogs.

Middle salads As I’ve mentioned before, I spent the summer of 1970 working for the Utah Parks Company at Zion Inn in Zion National Park as a pantry worker (AKA “salad girl”). I worked the summers of 1971-1973 at Grand Canyon Lodge at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, also as a pantry worker. These are some of the happiest times of my life so I have years worth of reverie about this era. I learned a great deal from my bosses and coworkers about making salads, cooking, and life in general. In the national parks, I learned to make big trays of desserts and tubs of salads. One of the first lessons in Zion was that what worked in Michigan might not work in the desert southwest. Mary, my pantry boss, instructed me to prepare a large tray of cheese sandwiches. Being the organized person (I thought) I was, I lay out a full tray of bread slices in preparation for adding, in turn, the cheese slices and then the top slice of bread. There, in the desert, that first layer of bread dried out instantly and was unusable. Never would have happened like that in Michigan. Adapt to your circumstances was the lesson. I am still working on that.

In the Grand Canyon Lodge kitchen, I had other lessons to learn. Our dear bosses/mentors/friends-for-life were pantry supervisor Bertha Fitzwater and chef Floyd Winder. Bertha, born in 1897, was hard of hearing. Her hearing seemed selective, though: She could hear what she wanted and needed to hear and then ignore the rest. Early on that summer Bertha told me to “clean as you go” in the kitchen. I have done so ever since then, and it has served me and my kitchen well. More important than cleanliness is kindness and I learned some of that from Bertha. 1971 was so long ago, maybe you can hardly imagine it. We women in the kitchen wore horrible white uniform dresses (they deserve their own whole cranky reverie). Most of the hipp(i)er young men that headed to the North Rim cut their hair before they got there. Not so, Pat Malone. He showed up in the kitchen sporting his long golden locks and scraggly goatee. Utah Parks was a conservative company and many of the workers were traditionally minded Latter-Day Saints. So, as I watched, Pat was getting a quiet and cold shoulder from the workers in the kitchen. Maybe Bertha couldn’t hear, but she could see and feel. She got a bowl of ice cream and went right up to Pat and pushed the bowl near his face and said, smell this, I think it is going bad. Pat put his face down to smell and Bertha shoved the ice cream into his face. Haha, a good laugh all around and the ice was broken. Golden, elf-like Pat (gone these ten years) became a favorite of many. I still see and feel your kindness, Bertha, and I try sometimes to follow your path. Linda, Richard, and Gordon, we are still pantry friends together.

Chef Floyd Winder was a large middle-aged man with a military buzz cut, a Utah twang, a piercing intellect, and a wit as dry as the desert. I met Floyd (and Bertha) in May, 1971, just weeks after I had graduated from college.  After all of those high octane professors (and yes, many of them were exemplary and I learned a great deal from their classes), all the papers I wrote, all the hours I had spent throwing around words like etiology, polity, and structural-functionalism, I was full of myself and my fancy education.  Well, as I watched and listened to Bertha and Floyd I saw that they knew just as much about their own fields of endeavor as the professors did about theirs. More importantly, Bertha and Floyd seemed to understand human nature, but still decided to look at people with humor and kindness. Floyd knew his workers well, and if they were smart and conscientious, he just left them to their jobs—no micromanaging from him. Here are three short Floyd stories:

North Rim was about 80 miles from the closest town. So, when we ran out of ingredients, we were out until the next truck made its way up to our kitchen at the end of the road. The pantry staff made seafood cocktail appetizers, using crab, shrimp, lettuce, cocktail sauce–the usual ingredients. They were popular menu items, so we often ran out of the canned crab. What to do? Floyd said put canned tuna on the salad instead. To our alarmed looks Floyd simply noted that tuna comes from the sea.

Grand Lodge kitchen served excellent ice cream and sherbet, but we made ho-hum puddings, cobblers, cakes, and frozen pies baked in house. One time a customer was oohing and aahing to the server about her slice of pie. The guest asked for the recipe, so Floyd cut off the recipe panel from the frozen pie box for the woman. In neither of this or the above instance did Floyd smile.

The kitchen ran well under Floyd’s firm, but (somehow) laid-back rule. The menu was on a set schedule and the food was rolled out mostly the same week after week under his supervision. The only time I ever saw Floyd personally cook any food was when Utah Parks Company hosted a party for the staff. It turned out that not only could Floyd cook delicious food, but, by god, he created an ice sculpture for us.

I have other, more serious, stories about Floyd. When I felt lonely that year in Page, Arizona, I would visit Floyd and his kids at his home in Springdale, Utah right outside of Zion. A kind face and a homey meal meant a great deal to me back in those days when I was so green. A few years later, Floyd would visit Tom and me and our little children when he was up in Salt Lake City for cancer treatments at the VA Hospital.

Growing salads As I’ve mentioned before, I took up growing my own salads many years ago–49 years ago to be precise. Every garden space (from window sills to large gardens with grape vines and raspberries and corn) is different. Different, but always satisfying. Sometimes plants grow for me and sometimes they don’t, but I am always learning something new from them. Here is a partial list of the salad stuff I’ve grown: many types of lettuce, thyme, basil (five kinds), rosemary, spinach, Swiss chard, cilantro, sugar snap peas, shallots, onions, tomatoes (probably at least 25 varieties), peppers (probably more than 15 varieties), chives, lemon balm, sage, dill, borage, anise hyssop, artichokes, scallions, mint, radicchio, arugula, kale (at least three types), Italian oregano, cucumbers, broccoli, epazote, field cress, mizuna, parsley, lemon grass, and more that I can’t remember right this minute. However, the memories of my mother and the rest of my family, Bertha, Floyd, and all the others remain green.

spring seed packets
Thai basil over-wintered in the house
green leaf black seeded simpson lettuce seedlings, 2/15/23
chives

*I started this article about two weeks ago, I have avoided working on it. Today, I feel spring in the air (and in my bones) and hear it in the birdsong.

Peregrinations

Speaking of peregrinations: When I was child I wanted to be a falconer. I wanted to have a hawk, or perhaps a peregrine falcon on my arm. She would fly off my arm and circle the sky until she was only a dot and then, finally, fly back to me. I didn’t dwell on the hunting part of this fantasy–just on the bold, high flying bird who would come home to me. (I confess that I might have come up with this idea from reading The Hardy Boys: The Hooded Hawk Mystery). I keep alert for birds of prey wherever I am, but I have not had one on my arm. However, we’ve had Phoenix the orange-winged Amazon parrot in our family for the last 27 years, and I have been content to have him on my hand and in my heart, if not in the wild blue sky.

Phoenix Q. Terrill

Tom and I spent much of September 2022 traveling. This year our road trip was at least 4,300 miles and we loved it, as usual.* We only camped by one great lake this year, but we did travel through 12 states. We visited with loved ones and walked on beaches, in forests, and on prairies. We enjoyed our travel on foot paths, back roads, dirt roads, and highways. Tom and I lunched in prosperous Glen Arbor, relaxed in the egalitarian comfort of campgrounds, and talked about sights to see with couple of Wisconsin bikers at Kitch-iti-kipi.

beach, Lake Michigan
Fayette Historic State Park, Michigan
bison and prairie grasses, Tallgrass Prairie Preserve, Oklahoma
Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore
Kitch-iti-Kipi, Manitisque, Michigan

Besides, Michigan, Tom and I camped in Iowa, Missouri, Oklahoma, and Arkansas. We drank cold coffee and ate cold, but delicious, meals. Furthermore, for most of this trip, we didn’t even bother with putting up the tent; we just reclined on our the Subaru’s front seats and slept when the sky was dark.

dinner at the campsite

One thing was different this year: we had campfires at three different campsites. Tom and I are usually content to have the sunset be the dramatic display of the evening. It’s more environmentally sound, I think, than the big bonfires some campers build. Plus, who needs a campfire for cheese and meat sandwiches, especially when we weren’t packing marshmallows, Hersey bars, and graham crackers. This time it was different, though. I think–damn hot weather not withstanding–we needed the emotional warmth of the fire. The flickering yet steady light, the hopeful sparks flying upward, and feet warming on the firepit rim soothed us. Tom and I are grateful for the year we have had–we are still here and we are still okay. However, we continue to get older, and not so much wiser. How can it be that I have been tagging along with brothers Mike and George for 70 years? How is it that brothers Rog and Dan are missing somehow? Why do I still miss the stubborn and lovely beagle/basset, Randi? Now that I finally finished reading Will Bagley’s South Pass: Gateway to a Continent, I want to talk to him about it and where is he? I just read in the Washington Post today that the January 6th berserkers “…stashed weapons, ammunition and hand grenades in a Comfort Inn in Arlington County, Va….” That motel is a 0.9 mile walk from where I am now writing in my living room. What is happening to my beloved country? We needed that fire to comfort us at night just as the water, trees, and flowers did during the day.

Lake Michigan, September 2022
post oaks, Osage Hills State Park, Oklahoma
snow-on-the-mountain, Tallgrass Prairie Preserve, Oklahoma

We call them “roadtrips,” not just “camping trips.” We do so because although we enjoy camping in less frequented parks, forests, and the like, we also enjoy finding out-of-the-way museums and visiting little towns. I sometimes imagine the lives of the people who live on the farms and in the burgs we pass through. I imagine them to be mostly happy. Early in the trip, Tom and I stayed in Green Bay, Wisconsin for a couple of days. We went to the National Railroad Museum. I was prepared to be blasé about a museum dedicated to trains, but, if–in your peregrinations–you ever find yourself in Green Bay, I recommend it.

Near Pawhuska, Oklahoma
The Tree That Escaped the Crowded Forest, the Price Tower by Frank Lloyd Wright, Bartlesville, Oklahoma

Old food service people that we are, Tom and I also keeping trying to find good restaurants and bakeries along the road. I just counted and I find that Tom and I have traveled in 47 states together so far. That’s a lot of states for the number of good eateries we’ve found. That’s okay; we are still searching.

kolache and apple fritter, Rise N Shine Donuts, Amarillo, Texas

I have a list of places we’ve visited that includes, national parks and forests, state parks and forests, trails, monuments, historic sites, museums, restaurants and wonders of all kinds. So far, this document is five pages long. On the other hand, our still-need-to-explore list is eight pages long. It carries a heading that indicates the complexities and course changes of the current era: “Points of Interest for Trips Spring/Summer/Fall 2019/2020/2021/2022.” In fact, I probably originally started the list about ten years ago. We keep hoping and we do what we can. Speaking of course changes, Tom and I had planned on heading west to New Mexico, at least, and then north to see friends before we headed home, but that didn’t work out. Instead, we got to watch the sun rise in Arkansas on our way home.

dawn, Mt. Nebo State Park, Arkansas

I look forward to our next trip. Maybe it won’t be the months long trips we used to take, or maybe it will. I remain optimistic that we will hit the road again together. I feel like we–Tom and I, our family and friends, and our country–are on a challenging journey. My wish for us all may be expressed (yet again) by the Beatles. I wish you good sleep wherever you are.

*You can read about last year’s roadtrip here.

August 2022: Both Sides Now

Clouds at Point Imperial, North Rim of the Grand Canyon, September 2018

Like some others, I have been thinking about Joni Mitchell this past week. Mitchell* performed at the Newport Folk Festival on July 24, 2022 after not performing an entire set for many years. Unlike some of my friends, I haven’t listened to her much this last week. Not sure why that is, but I think it might be because Joni Mitchell is already in my blood like holy wine.

Some of you have heard this story before (and some of you lived it with me), but I want to write about it again. I am writing this article sitting in my chair. No music now, but there are clouds off to the right through the balcony window.

my chair below the Joni Mitchell drawing**
our balcony with clouds and plants

I think I first listened to Joni Mitchell’s music in the fall of 1968 when I was not quite 19 years old. It is possible that I heard Judy Collin’s version of “Both Sides Now” before I heard Mitchell’s own version. I liked both versions–then and now. Soon after, I heard Mitchell’s albums, probably on one of my college roommate’s record player. Then and now, when I hear those words and that voice–or just think of them as I am doing now–I am transported to another place. There is pain in that place, but the words and the voice I hear sing a strong and healing magic.

For several years when I was young, I would sing Joni Mitchell, Judy Collins, and Joan Baez songs. This was quite a feat because I can’t–and never could–sing well, so I sang when I was alone. I sang Mitchell’s “Michael from Mountains,” “Tin Angel,” and “Blue” thinking of Tom. Sometimes I would sing as I walked at Lone Rock beach at Lake Powell near where I taught or while I drove the back roads of the Intermountain West, where I often didn’t have radio reception.

In 1973, I received a teaching fellowship for a Master’s degree in English at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City. That was great (except for the stipend, of course, which was a meager $2,000 per year). Many of my Grand Canyon friends were in Salt Lake at the time and I met another lifelong friend there, my fellow teacher, Laura. I was still bewitched by the songs of Joni Mitchell and, because I wanted to study the English words that meant a great deal to me, I decided to write a thesis on the lyrics in Mitchell’s songs.

Many things happened: I taught freshman composition classes including reviewing hundreds of essays, I got married and shortly Tom and I were expecting a child. My plan on the thesis was to finish it before our first child was to be born in May of 1975. With one thing and another, I finally finished the thesis not long before our second child was born in May of 1977. Our friends from back in the day may remember me listening, writing, rewriting, stalling, obsessing, and worrying about the paper. I had elements of the thesis in various states of readiness for months, but the final version came together when I was able to spend a week working alone at our friend Sally’s apartment. My thesis was accepted and I remember the kind words of Professor Phil Sullivan–an aging hippie among the more standard issue faculty I had at Utah. Phil agreed with me that music lyrics could indeed be poetry. Rest in peace, Phil.

Note: You can tell how long ago all of this was because my thesis only covers Mitchell through Hissing of Summer Lawns (1975). It was also so long ago that I needed to hire a typist to type/format my paper into a form that the university would accept. That cost some money. What I remember most, though is how much it cost to copy the thesis. I wanted to make a copy of the thesis to send to Joni Mitchell. Each page back then would cost about one dollar to make a good copy. At a little over 100 pages, I didn’t feel I could afford to copy the thesis to send. I didn’t really know where I might send it anyhow. A Grecian Isle, a red dirt road in Spain, or California? Years passed. Mitchell kept writing, composing, and painting. I kept parenting, gardening, working (mostly in education), and listening to music.

title page

Mitchell sang “Both Sides Now” at the Newport Folk Festival on July 24. I did listen to it and I loved the rendition. Both Joni Mitchell and I are old now, so we have had ample opportunity to look at both sides of our lives with all those illusions and that winning and losing. I don’t really know life at all, but I am okay with that. I remember and still believe what Mitchell said in “Woodstock”: “I don’t know who I am but life is for learning.”

With all the years of  loving, winning, losing, and learning in my life, I was happy this morning to see that I still agree with the final sentence of my thesis: “Joni Mitchell, for her part, writes song poetry the way Dylan Thomas would have it, as ‘the rhythmic, inevitably narrative movement from overclothed blindness to a naked vision.'”


*When I started writing this piece, I automatically started writing “Joni” instead of “Joni Mitchell” or “Mitchell.” I don’t write “Will” for William Butler Yeats and I realize I want to equally acknowledge Mitchell’s gravitas, so I have written about her here formally.

**Artist and friend Howard Brough drew this portrait as a wedding gift for Tom and me in 1974. Howard also drew illustrations for Mitchell songs and two more portraits, which were included in the thesis. Thank you, Howard.

Happy New Year, 2022

When I first considered writing this article, I briefly thought about calling it just “New Year, 2022.” This would be my snarky comment about the state of the continuing pandemic, our national politics, climate disasters, and just about everything else. My terse title would say: nope, not expecting happy things this year either. Almost immediately, though, I remembered that snarky and cynical don’t look well on me. More importantly, I see that all jumbled up with my weariness and anxiety are bits of happiness (or contentment or, at least, acceptance).*

January 31 As it is, I have put off finishing this post until the last day of the month. Luckily, Lunar New Year is beginning, so I am coming in just under the wire. Here is a list of things that make me feel better about going into a new year. I need this list to remind myself of all the good parts of my life.

The people abide. I walk by playgrounds and I see children playing as they always do. Parents are keeping an eye on the kids as parents do. Every time we go to the National Mall, Tom and I see people enjoying the museums, gardens, the ice rink, and food trucks. Despite the continual dose of disturbing news–let alone the wars and rumors of wars–I see helpers and kind people around me every day. I see the workers at my condo and my local grocery store, and those who seek out and help all the lost and lonely ones.

Mosaic Park, Arlington, Virginia

My county still has heart. Tom and I first moved to Arlington County, Virginia in June 1978 and have lived here on an off since. Our children went to school here. In the 1980s we lived a couple blocks from Arlington CentraI Library where I worked part-time. Later I taught immigrants and refugees in Arlington. We were here on September 11, 2001 and saw the Pentagon burning. Again, three decades later, we live a couple blocks from Central Library. Now, in Covid times, Central Library has free WiFi for all in the parking lot, a food pantry, a vegetable patch, and is surrounded by a native plant garden. Most importantly, perhaps, is the library’s strong stand as a safe place for everyone in the community.

Arlington Central Library, Arlington, Virginia

Nature comforts me. I find both wonder and solace in the plants, animals, rocks, and sky that I encounter.

sycamore, Theodore Roosevelt Island
oak tree, Arlington, VA
frog at Long Branch Nature Center
Shenandoah National Park, 2021

Dawn comes. Every day we see the morning light. We follow that light through the day until it is evening. All the light warms us.

dawn comes

We have family, friends, music, and food. I remember the many good parts of my life. I also remember those who have gone. I have listened to Tom play Mozart sonatas almost every day of the pandemic and I feel lucky. It’s the time of year when I remember “Auld Lang Syne.” I shiver or cry or both when I hear the song. I want and need that cup.

For old acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should old acquaintance be forgot
In the days of auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
We’ll drink a cup of kindness yet
For the sake of auld lang syne

Hope is still around here somewhere. So many words from the wise ones exhort people to live for the day, be in the present, etc. I am on board with that-not that I can do it all that much. I still spend plenty of emotional time in the past and the future, and I am not sure that is all bad. Just a couple of weeks ago, I made camping reservations for early June in Arizona and Utah. Tom and I don’t know how we will feel or how things will be shaping up with the pandemic. We don’t know much of anything. However, we remember the places and people we love from the old days. Maybe we can get to the North Rim another time. Maybe we can visit Capitol Reef and camp on the Aquarius Plateau. Maybe we can go back to Fishlake National Forest and be near Pando (a clonal colony of quaking aspen considered by some to be the largest single living organism on earth) one more time. Maybe we will drink a cup of kindness again with the friends of our youth (now of our age). I am hoping.

I recently bought a new head lamp. I am hoping it will lead me through dark nights to bright dawns.

my new headlamp

*If I were grading this essay, I would comment on the need for more specific language than “happiness” or “contentment.” I hope the examples and the photos add some heft to the words. Happy New Year! (Added 1/31/2022: Chúc mừng năm mới).