Puzzled For the last several months, I have been working assiduously on a variety of puzzles–even more than I had done previously (as a retired person with too much time on her hands). The New York Times informed me this morning that I have played 663 games of their online Spelling Bee. That’s my favorite game. For a year or so, I  also worked on the Times’ Connections. Now, because the newspaper doesn’t allow each of us to work separately on this puzzle, it’s Tom’s year to play. I enjoyed playing Connections, but I only solved the puzzle about 68% of the time. I also play Strands, which is a simple wordfind puzzle. Simple though the puzzle may be, I often have to use several hints to complete it. About the same time I started working on Connections, I started playing Wordle on NYT. I was never very good at it and had little patience for it. I think I had little patience because I wasn’t very good at it. In addition, I didn’t bond with the format. All these puzzles have led me to think about the way my brain works (or doesn’t work). For over a decade, Tom and I have worked on crossword puzzles. We worked on them when we still subscribed to paper versions of The Washington Post and the The New York Times. When we  were traveling and camping a great deal, we always had our trusty NYT crossword books with us. Now, I usually work on some Post crosswords and help Tom on some of the Times crosswords.

You may have seen those articles about how crosswords (and other puzzles) may (or may not) help old people retain high cognitive functioning. Who knows? So far, though, I am with my friend, Laura, who posits that people who work on puzzles become adept at doing those puzzles. I have recently taken up Sudoku again. More about that below.

Edgy An example of how edgy I have been lately: I was just writing this section of the article, but I felt the need to pause to reply to a political email from one of my score of anti-Trump friends.  I try. I really try to avoid overdosing on the Trumpworld news of the corrupt and the deranged. This far into the regime, I am only so successful at tamping down my anxiety. I am trying to do my part, but I need to do more. I need to do more than make a few calls and write a few emails, go to a couple of marches, surreptitiously place immigrant rights cards in stores and restaurants, and give a little money to the ACLU. I am trying to work harder to help preserve our government, our land, and our people from the would-be autocrats and their orcs.

my tee shirt for the gym and protests, circa early 2017

Franklin Park, May 1, 2025, Washington D.C.

caricature, Franklin Square protest, May 1, 2025

my sign of the times, May 1, 2025

Puzzled and Edgy I am going nuts on the puzzles because they calm me down. Concentrating on becoming a “genius” in Spelling Bee every morning keeps me from reading too many news articles. I took up Sudoku again because, before bed, if I am not working on a crossword, I can fill my mind with nine digits again and again until it is time to sleep. I am puzzled about how day after day, illogical, unconstitutional, unethical, and cruel things happen in this country I love. Most of my life (white and middle class though I am) I have been aware of the many persistent problems facing our nation (e.g., racism, sexism, homophobia, access to healthcare, extreme wealth inequality, environmental issues, climate change, education, and more). In my own small way, I have tried to help work on some of these problems. I saw good (not perfect) things happening in the United States. Now, I am puzzled about how our society has veered into this ugly corner. It seems like we are in a horrible mash-up of the bumper cars and the haunted house in a carnival run by stupid and evil clowns. You can see I am feeling on edge. Lately, I have to keep reminding myself to take deep meditative breaths.

I am Seeking Comfort and I am relieved that I am finding it in many ways.

• I have been working harder on my high-intensity interval training (HIIT). My 75 year old version of this exercise may be laughable to the younger and more fit, but working out as hard and sweaty as I can, relieves my anxiety and, generally, makes me feel more optimistic for much of a day.
• I take walks alone, with Tom, with our daughter, Sarah, and with my friend, Donna. I watch and hear the birds. I see the trees. Occasionally, I hug them. I feel more calm when I walk among the trees–whether they  are in large forests (G. Richard Thompson Wildlife Management Area) or in one acre parks in densely urban settings (Hillside Park). I see flowers everywhere this time of year and that makes me happy. I also feel hopeful when I see more and more native plants growing in yards and parks.
• Tom and I have filled our balcony with plants in tubs and pots. Our old iron birdbath is our current rock garden. We have put in a small bed of native plants at Sarah and Mike’s house. I spend some happy time there hacking back the English ivy and white mulberries.
• Tom does most of the cooking and I do most of the cleaning up. Even though I am also a good cook, I like it that way. Cleaning our tiny kitchen gives me more small, repetitive tasks that make me feel efficient and  help keep the zeitgeist at bay. I still find pleasure in making the occasional pie, soup, or loaf of bread.

tulip poplar, Ft. C.F. Smith, May 2025

native plants on the balcony, May 26, 2025

rhubarb pie

Bedrock I am lucky to have family (human, avian, and canine) and friends whom I love and who love me. Since I was 17, John Lennon has been telling me, “All you need is love.” I am not sure that is accurate, but it is my mantra now during these difficult times. Please be well.